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| My twins at 11 weeks inside my tummy :) |
When the doctor declared that I am having twins, I wasn't sure if I was paying attention. Until, she showed me the UTZ monitor and saw both of you for the first time. Your heartbeats, one after the other, they were the best music I haven't heard for a long time. Tears of joy rolled down my face while trying to figure out how to break the good news to your Daddy. Traveling from the ground floor to the 8th floor seems like forever because I can't wait to tell him about you. I was just smiling to him the whole time to give him a hint that I have some good news. When we were finally alone in the room (where I was confined), I simply said with all smile in my face, but still can't hold back the tears, "Daddy, kambal ang baby natin!" (Daddy, we're having twins!) He responded, "talaga?" (Really?) with a big smile and glow in his eyes. I bet those are tears in his eyes that he's trying to hold back. Because, you know, he's a man, the only man in the family, crying was not allowed. We hope not for long. We were praying even before we knew that you're twins, for a baby boy. Now, two baby boys will mean double the happiness. But don't get me wrong my little darlings, if you happened to be girls or a boy and a girl, it really doesn't matter. We just pray that you're going to be both healthy and normal like your two big sisters who are so excited to see you. You're so lucky, they've been showering you with little hugs and kisses daily since day one. They love you both as much as Daddy and Mommy do.
I want to confess something to you my loves. I am scared. Yes, I've never been this scared in my whole life. I'm scared of every vomiting episode. I'm scared of every headache and stomach pain. I was so scared when I can't almost move my body due to so much pain. Your Daddy had to rushed me to the hospital where I was confined and treated from dehydration and body weakening. I'm sorry that I can't eat anything well. I'm sorry that I can't tolerate water. I'm sorry that I have to go to work even if I shouldn't. I'm sorry that I don't take vitamins daily because I just can't. Believe me I've tried so hard to be well for you, but it wasn't good enough. Most of all, I am so scared of losing you. I am still weak but I'm doing my best to be strong. I eat small frequent meals now. I don't forget our vitamins now, your Daddy keeps on reminding me, too. I sip water, small amount but frequently. I sleep more often to regain our strength. I'm not working, temporarily. Until our doctor advises me to. My twins, I am still scared but I am holding on to God. So please hold on to me as I am holding on to Him for our strength and safety. I love you so much. Six months is still a long wait. For now, let me enjoy you growing inside my tummy. I hope you are both excited to see the rest of us too. We can't wait!
Love and kisses,
MOMMY
